Colonoscopy is a Doddle

My arm where IV was attached.

I was terrified as I have a huge phobia of needles and hospitals but my colonoscopy was a doddle. I  honestly felt no pain or discomfort at all. Everybody's experience of a colonoscopy is different but it is not something you need to fear. I have read mixed reviews of people’s experiences of colonoscopies so I thought I would share my own very positive ones. In a nut shell there was honestly nothing whatsoever to worry about. I felt no pain or even any mild discomfort from either the IV or the colonoscopy. Some of the reviews I had read had frightened me but there was absolutely no need to be scared or concerned. Everyone’s experiences are different but I want to reassure people that many experiences including my own were far from doom and gloom and in fact very positive.

For many years I had suffered abdominal bleeding but had never sought help as often there was no pain. I also hate going to doctors unless it is a last resort. A good friend of mine saw a campaign about bowel cancer and said I should get it looked at just in case. Eventually I went to see my GP who took a look before sending me to a specialist who gave me a sigmoidoscopy. Even though I was nervous I did not feel any discomfort despite some reviews from others to the contrary. He suspected piles but I wanted to rule out something more serious so he referred me for a colonoscopy.

The colour drained from my face.  I had thus far avoided anything that required an IV and I tend to feel faint during blood tests. The specialist gave me a cream which stopped the bleeding which was good. He also prescribed some Picolax powder which I will tell more about later. The hospital sent me some leaflets explaining how to prepare for my colonoscopy and what to expect leading up to it, during it and after.

As my colonoscopy became closer and closer I became more and more worried. I started going on any forum I could or website to read about other people’s experiences. Some were very positive and others were fear inducing. Some people described the whole process as agony.  Very reassuring but let me reassure you that was not the case for me.

The leaflets explained the special diet I would have to go on before the procedure. Three days before my colonoscopy I need a low fibre diet. It was very limited and many of the products I could eat were wheat based and I have wheat intolerance. I could eat potatoes without skin. oven chips, white rice and white fish with no skin for instance. I could not eat foods such as sausages, most fruit, breakfast cereals or milk chocolate. I was encouraged to drink lots of liquid such as water, tea, coffee and fizzy drinks. Drinks such as fruit juices or hot chocolate were not allowed. This diet had to last for two days.

On the day before my colonoscopy I had to take two sachets of a laxative called Picolax. I had read so many scare stories about taking this laxative and how it was the worst part of the colonoscopy process. Billy Connoly even did a sketch about how painful the prep is. People claimed it tasted  vile and that they would spend most of their day in the bathroom emptying their bowels.  During the previous two days I was nervous of eating the wrong thing or too much that I only had one light meal a day. I felt very light headed and had some dizzy spells within 48 hours of being due to have the colonoscopy.

On the day before your colonoscopy you cannot eat anything though you must consume much fluid to avoid dehydration. Anyway at midday I drank the first sachet of Picolax which you mix with water. It certainly wasn’t vile and tasted to me no different  from Lemsip.  Not great but not unpleasant either. I waited for the explosions to start. About 45 minutes later I went to the toilet for my first bowel movement which was very mild. I went about four more times and all my bowel movements were very mild with no discomfort.

I then thought that perhaps it would really kick in with the second dose that I had to take at 6pm. I took that dose and again there were a few minor bowel movements but again no discomfort. The longest I spent in the bathroom at any one time would have been about five or six minutes. Usually less. My stomach rumbled occasionally but I had no stomach cramps or desire to break wind. My bowel movements were no more than liquid. It was certainly not a chore nor uncomfortable.  Definitely not the seemingly endless hell as some people described it.  Barely any discomfort. So much for my fears about taking the laxative which proved unfounded.  Having scaled down my diet no doubt helped.

My final few hours before I went to the hospital were restless ones full of dread. I spent them reading people’s reviews and experiences which frightened me no end. I must be sadist and really should stop putting myself through them. To be honest though the majority of experiences were positive.

At 630am a car arrived to take me to the hospital. I was absolutely petrified. I had barely slept in 48 hours. We arrived at the hospital and a man from admissions took my forms with credit card details to sort out payment. About 25 minutes later an endoscopy nurse came to meet me and took me through to the department. I told her I was terrified and that I had a massive phobia of needles. She put me at ease and confirmed they had the Emla cream I had requested the day before to put my skin where they would put the IV. Emla cream is used mainly by children but can be requested by adults if they have a needle phobia for instance.

She took me through to a cubicle and explained the procedure and what I could expect. She put me at ease regarding the IV and put the emla cream to numb the area where the IV and needle would be inserted. She chose four areas to put the cream. On the backs of my hands and on my arm. I felt quite faint with nausea talking about the needle and IV so they let me lay down for ten to 15 minutes. During this time she took a couple of samples from my nose. I am not certain why but it may be to do with the oxygen mask. She also tested my blood pressure which she said was normal.

After I had rested the nurse came back with a gown and I got changed into it after briefly using the bathroom. I was allowed to wear my shirt underneath but no underwear.  The doctor who was performing the colonoscopy came into my cubicle to introduce himself and answer any further questions I may have had. He put me at ease. He gave me a consent film to sign.

The nurse then wheeled me into the theatre. I was very nervous and the put an oxygen mask on my nose which helped. Then came the bit I was dreading most. Yes it was the needle. I asked for it to be put in my arm as that was where I had had previous blood tests. I did not like the idea of a needle going in to the back of my hand. Thankfully he found a good vein in my arm. I kept trying to look and swore but that was my anticipation of pain. When I looked away he inserted the needle into a vein. In fact I barely felt it go in and there was absolutely no pain or discomfort. Beyond that I felt nothing and I did not feel the IV going in. I was given a sedative and pain killer in the IV but I did not feel any different or wheezy or groggy as some people said. In fact at times I wondered if I had an IV in my arm at all. I felt no different.

The colonoscopy began and I watched it on the screen though I felt nothing at all. Again no discomfort or pain what so ever.  I chatted to the nurse and doctor but I did not feel out of sorts at any time. I was able to watch it on screen. The sedative and oxygen helped me relax but I was fully aware of what was going on and I don’t remember losing awareness at any time. Usually I would dislike the idea of looking at my colons or bowels so the sedation must have had some affect.I remember the procedure well. It was over before I knew it. A polyp was taken for analysis. Again I saw it being taken on the screen but felt nothing. The whole colonoscopy took 11 minutes. The doctor said my colon and bowels were very easy to navigate and it helped that I was young and fit.

I was then wheeled back in the cubicle where I was allowed to rest for a few minutes before I said I felt fine. I felt totally fine and not whoozy or groggy from the sedative or pain killer. I actually felt better than when I had arrived. Also relieved it was all over. The doctor came in to explain that there was nothing that he saw that was wrong beyond having piles which the earlier specialist had diagnosed. It was a huge relief and weight off my shoulders.

The nurse then removed my IV once she was satisfied that I was fine. She placed a plaster over the spot where the IV had been. She asked if I would like some cereal and an orange juice. I had barely eaten for 48 hours. I was hardly likely to say no. It tasted so good. In fact any food would have tasted so good. After I finished the cereal I was allowed to get dressed and leave. The whole process was supposed to last four hours but I was out within two. I went home and I did not feel woozy. I just got on with my everyday tasks. I had also been told I would feel quite gassy. It was minimal. No problems at all.

I am the biggest hospital and needle phobic but I can honestly say that not once during the procedure did I feel any pain or any discomfort at all. In fact I felt barely anything throughout. All my concerns and worries were not merited. It was more about the fear of fear itself. Much of it was anticipated. I was also in good hands with people who made me feel at ease. If you are encouraged to get a colonoscopy go and get it. It could save your life and for me it did not live up to any of the scare stories that I had read. I now feel more confident and at ease with hospitals. I will have little fear of getting a colonoscopy again should I need one. It was honestly a doddle so please do not worry at all. It could save your life.

Reflections On My Life

I express my opinions a lot on Facebook and other sites and talk about many of the trivial and sometimes not so trivial things I have been up to but I rarely give people a glimpse into my private life and what is going behind the mask that is William Brougham. Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting and I find talking about it on Facebook helps.

Several weeks ago someone I loved and cared about deeply walked out of my life. It all happened in a period of 36 hours and was very sudden. I had not seen any warning signs. Perhaps I should have or perhaps there were not any. Maybe I will never get the answers. All I know is my whole world was turned upside down. For the first three weeks or so I was able to focus on my studies and other things in my life. This was not the first time it had happened.

About three weeks after the person left it hit me in an instant. I realised I had not only lost my lover but also my best friend and companion. I had felt I had lost three people in my life and a part of me. I am usually a strong person and very independent but I lost it and felt utterly defeated. I felt broken, beaten and battered.

I felt like I was being pushed against a wall. My head was throbbing and my heart beating fast. I realised I could not cope alone. The strong and confident William was no more. The William who cared deeply about politics, journalism and current affairs had gone. The William who loved music and catching up with friends was off the scene. My motivation for everything had taken leave.

For one of the first times in my life I confided in friends and family and opened up to them. A few friends in particular have been amazing throughout and I thank them with all my heart. I know it is a cliche but they have been my rock and they really have. I thought I would be much stronger and cope much better but, of course, I am only human and shit happens in life. I will not go into the details of the break up or what caused it here. People go through far worse in life than me but this is my problem and an issue I have to deal with which for me is a very serious one.

I realised I was more vulnerable than I thought and thankfully I sought help as I realised I could not cope with this alone. I can only guess what the other person went through and perhaps it was easier for them or harder. I do not know though I hope in time we will be able to talk about what has happened. All I can say is that it has been a very difficult and tough few weeks and I hope it is something I never have to repeat. I have never felt this numb, hurt or low in my life.

People often give advice whether asked for or not. Everyone's an expert. Some advice is very helpful and other advice can be quite cruel even if that is not the intention. A couple of people told me to move on. That will hopefully come but people need time to grieve and reflect. You do not simply move on after half a decade together and being part of each others lives. There is no anger or resentment. I just feel deeply saddened and wish I could see some kindness and remorse and for the person to understand what I am going through however valid their decision.

One valuable piece of advice that everyone has given me is that time plays a great part in healing and I could not agree more in my case. Time has helped and the other person and I are talking again after weeks of silence and awkwardness. We even smiled and had a laugh yesterday. I think they are beginning to show some remorse. Very different from our first meeting a couple of weeks ago which did not go well at all. I feel we took a step forward to laying the basis of a friendship. There is, of course, more work to be done and I hope in time I get some more answers as we open up to each other and let down our guard and barriers.

As I said earlier I not only lost my lover but also my companion and best friend. I lost someone I cared deeply about and still do. I hope to get at least two of those aspects of my life back. The other person initiated and extended the hand of friendship last week to me and our meeting last night went well despite everything. I hope that as each meeting passes things get easier.

What do I miss? This is something I have thought about very much and above all I miss their companionship and also miss the little things that perhaps I took for granted and even some of those things I never enjoyed doing such as shopping or getting the weekly groceries. I miss our weekly trips to buy food in Woolworths, I miss them walking me part or all of the way to university and I miss going to our local Japanese cafe at the end of our street. I miss our many holidays together. Our last one to Cairns was amazing and unforgettable. We went diving on the Great Barrier Reef and I am so happy they were there to share it with me. I know they enjoyed it too.

I miss so many things. When I finish university in the evenings I still often pick up the phone to text or call them asking them what they would like for dinner. I stop myself in time when I remember we are no longer together. When I am on my laptop I sometimes look up and expect them to be sitting on the sofa watching a DVD. I miss our trips to Civic Video to pick up the latest blockbuster DVD. When the bills come in I see their name on them too. Above all I miss coming home and seeing them on the sofa as I bring them dinner. It is lonely being home alone in our home. Little and big things bring back many memories.

I need to accept that for the moment at least the relationship is over and I need to pick myself up and try and get on with my life. Seeing and speaking to them as a friend has helped a lot as has the end of our silence. I am taking things carefully and slowly and giving us both some space but I would like to lay the foundations for a friendship and a strong one if possible. It may be an unrealistic dream but it is one I am willing to make happen if the other person does. I hope one day soon we can become good friends or even best friends again. I think they are worth it and I hope they will allow me to be a part of their lives again albeit in a different sense from before.

Time can help heal rifts and I think we have time on our side to form a friendship and I hope a strong one. I already sense some remorse and a better understanding of how I have been feeling. I hope in time I will also understand better their motivations for doing what they did. Our meeting yesterday was a big step forward from the last one. The relationship did end badly but there is still time to put a positive spin on things and make everything easier on us both. I hope in time the sadness and wounds will heal and that if nothing else I will get my best friend back and someone who I respect.

Everything happened so fast and so suddenly but I hope things continue to get better and that yesterday's meeting was a sign of friendship to come. Time will play a part in that and I hope, if anything, we can form a bond and mutual respect for each other out of what has was an unhappy ending. They have extended the hand of friendship as have I. Let us build on those foundations.

Fair Dinkum!!!

I have just been watching the first election debate between Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott ahead of the Australian Federal Election. I think Julia definitely had the edge and was more polished. However, Abbott used the phrase "fair dinkum" at least eight times. Australians often like to remind me that they no longer use the term even though I have heard it used more regularly than many people would like to admit.

So what does the term fair dinkum mean? Well it generally mean real, honest or genuine. Coming from a politician perhaps there is some irony. So where does the term originate? There are a few possible explanations. Joseph Wright recorded the phrase in his English dictionary of 1896-1905. He found several examples of dinkum in various parts of England and even found fair dinkum being used in Lincolnshire.

Another explanation is that it was a response of Chinese goldminers to the question "Are you finding a fair amount of gold?" as "din-gum means "good gold". Over time it became fair dinkum. Not sure about that one myself though.

An even less likely explanation is that it comes from the phrase "good drinking" when early settlers would raise a toast. What do you think?

Liberace Live from Heaven

Bobby Crush was absolutely brilliant as pianist Liberace in Liberace Live from Heaven at the Opera House, Wellington. The play tells the story of Liberace after he dies and ends up at the Pearly Gates. He has to convince Saint Peter and God that he deserves to go to Heaven rather than downstairs to Hell.

The main issue seems to be that he lied in court over his sexuality when he sued Britain's Daily Mirror when it insinuated he was gay. The character of Liberace explains why he lied and he certainly put over a convincing argument. At the end of the play the audience had to vote as to whether he should go to Heaven or Hell. We overwhelmingly voted for the former. Apparently no audience has as yet said he should go to Hell.

The New Zealand tour follows a successful run in London's West End and Bobby Crush is doing an intensive tour of both the North and South Island. Steven Fry and Victoria Wood lend their voices to Saint Peter and God. Yes, you read that correctly. Victoria Wood is indeed God.

Bobby Crush played various piano pieces throughout. Turns out God's favourite composer is Gershwin. My highlights were when Bobby played a medley of modern pop songs and later on took requests from the audience. Bobby was very convincing as Liberace and certainly brought the house down.

The whole show exceeded my expectations and you would neither have to be a fan or Liberace or Bobby to enjoy it. It was great to catch up with Bobby at the end of the show and meet the shows New Zealand promoter Bruce Warwick. It will be back in London's West End later this year. Definitely worth going to see if you have not seen it already. Wonderful, amazing and a piece of pure brilliance.

Discovering Australia

I am often asked why I fell in love with the country I call home. Australia. Well I thought it was time to reflect and ask myself the same question. Below I have for the first time ever written an account of how Australia became home. I hope you enjoy reading it. I first wanted to come to Australia after having a strangely weird experience that I can't explain.

My experiences of Australia prior to 1990 were limited. All I knew about Australia until about the age of seven was that it has loads of deserts and kangaroos and that there was a beer called Castlemaine xxxx which was advertised on television in the UK. I also watched Rolf Harris on television in England.

However, my first memorable encounter with an Australian was at the age of seven when my school got a teacher called Mr Knuckle who surprise surprise he was from Australia. I then went to a school at eight and many of my teachers were Aussies. For a few years from 1987 to about 1990 I was addicted to Neighbours. In that time I probably missed no more than twelve episodes. I watch how bad it is now and I can't work out how I could have ever been addicted to a soap opera.

Any way my life revolved very much around that show. If we went on holiday in England I always insisted we arrived at our destination in time for Neighbours. One day we were playing football at school in London's Hyde Park and who should be out jogging well Neighbours actor Craig Maclachlan who played the character of Henry. I was a shy boy and he was speaking to our teacher who was a Kiwi. I left the goal as goalie to say hello. Nobody had a pen for an autograph but we shook hands and he stayed to watch the rest of our game. I was amazed as a person who I knew through the screen I got to meet in person. Fantasy became a form of reality. However Neighbours could have been set any where and I never thought about Australia and Australia held no interest to me.

At the age of 12 I was watching an interview with Kate Ritchie who was a young star of the new Australian tv soap Home and Away which was being promoted in the UK. Any way I didn't think anything of it but I went into the garden to play with my football. Now this next thing will sound like a whack job. But you know you hear about people who have a calling or experience something that they can't explain but nevertheless has an effect that changes their lives and impacts on them in a massive way? Almost a road to Damascus experience. Well it happened to me. I was out playing with my football and suddenly I froze and heard what I would call and inner voice which just said something like "you must go to Australia".

In that split second my one huge ambition was to visit and live in Australia.I never remember my dreams but around that time I had a remarkable dream that I remember in great detail. I was standing by the Sydney Opera House watching a huge cruise liner leave the shore flying a Union Jack. In front of me and the Sydney Opera House was an orchestra and singer performing a slow and stirring and beautiful version of Waltzing Matilda. It felt so real and when I finally did visit Australia many year's later the Harbour looked exactly as it had in the dream standing there.It was home and though I'd never been there I knew it was where my heart and mind was.

I read books on Australia and watched every documentary I could on the country and even did school projects on it. I played Waltzing Matilda on the piano and knew both verses of Advance Australia Fair. It was my life. At school I was known as the Australia obsessive. I used to phone up and eventually appear on the phone from London on late night talk shows hosted by Brian Carlton on 2GB and 2UE in Sydney and Trevor Himstedt on Radio 3UZ in Melbourne. This went on for a while.

I used to listen to Radio Australia when I could pick up its weak and fuzzy signal on my short wave radio and listen to live Australian radio knowing that the person speaking to me was in a room at that moment many thousands of miles away. For me it was ana amazing experience and I would stay glued to the radio what ever programme it was. It was the closest I could get to being there and I used to imagine that just outside the radio studios there was the daily life of people in Melbourne going about their business. My great aunt from Sydney would visit England every two years and to me she was a Goddess from the chosen land. I lapped everything up that she told me and time with her was for me a priviledge and the more time I spent with her the happier I was.

I would go to Australia House in London just to read the Australian newspapers even though they were several days old. Any way I finally got to Sydney at the age of 18. Even before I cleared customs I knew I had come home. Hey I am home now. Those two and a half weeks were among the happiest in my life. Australia was no longer just a dream but that reality was better than any dream. I felt I had lived there my whole life. When the time came to fly back to England I was very sad.

In 1997 while at uni I got involved in a trial radio station in London as a news reader for ex pats Australians, New Zealanders and South Africans called TNT 87.7 fm. It was not until 2000 that I returned to Australia. I must have visited Australia about 12 times between 2000 and 2006. I wish I had applied for residency but I didn't. I ended up buying an appartment in London which kind of tied me down. With each trip to Australia my passion for the country grew and grew.

It still fascinates and in some way amuses me that while so many Aussies enthuse about the wonders of foreign countries and travelling abroad so few of them appreciate or realise the beauty on their own door step. It often takes a trip abroad to realise what they have at home. For me this country has an energy and it gives me such a buzz every time. It repairs my batteries and gives me life, energy and passion.

In 2006 I finally got myself a working holiday permit which I extended for two years. I have lived in Sydney and Griffith and travelled round Australia and see the great land that is Australia. This land gives me some sort of energy force that I have never experienced any where else. I have worked in some wonderful locations as an extra for television.

Sydney alone has some absolutely beautiful beaches and suburbs that so many backpackers and even Sydneysiders miss when they stay in central Sydney. I have also been fortunate enough to work in Australian radio. Australia or the sun burnt country as it is some times known is stunning and has so much to offer. The more I am here the more I learn and discover.

From its scenery, to it wildlife, to its cities and its people I love this country. My interest is in a 457 visa which would allow me to set up a business with an Australian director and then sponsor myself to live out here. I will never forget England and will always be grateful for what it gave me. But for now I still call Australia home :) x